September 28, 2013

For the Love of Sisters

Kinsley: Do I have to listen to Fiona?
Me: That depends—what is she asking you to do?
Kinsley: She wants me to do this bible study thing with her.
Me: Oh, okay. Well—maybe you can check it out and if you don’t like it, don’t do it. But, at least try it—especially if she is asking you to do it with her.
Kinsley: Oh, I guess. Okay, I’ll try it. But, if I don’t like it—I’m not doing it.
Me: That’s sounds good to me.

September 21, 2013

Zip Your Lip


It’s not your story to tell. You cannot fix this. You are not a doctor. You have no idea what is going on. It’s not okay to pluck people out of their environment because you think your way is better. Stay out of it. Every time we get her into a place of hope and healing you try to remove her from the situation. Stop it.

Get control of yourself and start acting like loving, caring, compassionate, responsible adults who know when to leave certain things alone. Maybe if you tell yourself that you don’t have all the answers your own life will improve and you won’t be so busy judging everyone else’s. Try to be mature and sensible for once and do not make this about you. It’s not about you. It never has been about you.

There is a reason why things seem a little off. Don’t you think we know that? We are the ones living it, not you. Everything happens for a reason and sometimes you just have to go with it and stop creating fantasies in your mind about what you think is happening because you have no idea what you’re talking about.

When someone speaks truth into your life don’t run from it and don't take it personally. They are not trying to hurt you or attack you. There are many people in this world going through things. We are not clones of each other. The world is a diverse place and many people are hurting. People need to be loved, supported, and encouraged—not bashed or enabled.

Do you know what the difference is between “helping” and “enabling?” Helping someone is doing something for someone they cannot do for themselves. Enabling someone is doing something for someone that they can and should do for themselves.

It’s destructive to pluck someone out of a situation that offers hope and your actions will not change the prognosis. When you enable you ultimately hurt them. You think you are helping but your view of helping is warped.

I’m not telling you all of this to be mean or nasty. Again, it’s not about you. Try and step outside of yourself for a minute and realize that you are not the only person in this world who is hurting. Let it be.

For once in your life try to admit that maybe you don’t have all the answers. Can you imagine for a second what it is like when you have someone on track to get better and someone steps in and plucks her from the support system that is trying to genuinely help and promote true healing and stability? Think about that.

God put us up here in Nebraska because He knew what we were going to go through and He has mercy and compassion for our situation as it is. God knew she was going to be able to get the help that she needs right here in Omaha. Why would anyone in their right mind go against that?

The last time you got involved it caused a lot of damage. You plucked her right out of the plan we had in place for her. This is an example of enabling. All the time, effort, and progress we made was for nothing.

It’s like doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. You think it’s going to be different so you keep trying the same thing over and over again and the result is always the same. Perhaps it’s time to change how you think about things. Maybe it's time to stop gazing at yourself so much. Think of others.

What you can do is be supportive when she calls. You can be encouraging when she sounds like she wants to give up on herself. Don’t talk to her about negative things that have happened in the past. That will hurt her!!!! Don’t talk bad about the people who love her the most!!!! Stop gossiping about things you have no knowledge of. If you don’t have anything nice to say to her zip your lip. Stop trying to get her to turn her back on her life.

You know what would be helpful? It would be helpful if when you get a call you would listen and have caring and compassion in your heart. Don’t talk about yourself. Offer only loving supportive words. Validate her because what she is telling you is very real to her. Don’t make it about you. Maybe you can listen for once and stop trying to fix. You can’t fix this.

At the end of the day I know people are going to do what they’re going to do and there’s nothing I can do about it. It’s like beating my head against a brick wall. You guys don’t listen. You think you know everything and you don’t listen.

In the past I have tried so many times to be open and honest about what is going on up here but for some reason no one wants to listen. Instead, people want to make it about them. It’s not about you. It’s not your story to tell, either.

Please respect her dignity and stop running your mouth. If you love her you will leave her in the place where she is provided with hope and healing. You cannot be her caregiver. You are not qualified to be her caregiver. You are not GOD.

A couple of weeks ago I got some really good news. The news was so good I was over-the-moon happy for once because someone gave me fantastic news about MY Kid. The next thing I know I’m being told someone wants to take MY Kid away from the people who are able to help her. It’s like beating my head against a brick wall.

Photo Credit: Pinterest Pin

September 20, 2013

Menopause


I had an appointment to see my OBGYN specialist. There were a couple of things that concerned me. 1) My tail bone has been hurting all summer and 2) I still have not had a monthly cycle. TMI—right?

I know where the tail bone pain is coming from. I’m pretty sure I hurt myself at the pool this summer when I tried to hoist myself up out of the pool backwards. My butt slammed right into the cement. That was back in July. It’s now the middle of September and my tail bone still hurts. I have to either sit forward or take turns between the right and left butt cheeks. OUCH!

The doc checked a few things out and determined there was nothing else going on. There were no cysts or growths in the vicinity. It turns out tail bones take a long time to heal. The pain has been diminishing so maybe the worst is over? I’m just glad there was nothing else going on.

Back in April when my doc ran blood work he determined I was pre-menopausal. He needed to do more blood work to check on some things. He said if my blood work comes back menopausal there is nothing more to do. Good news, I hope!

We even discussed hormone replacement therapy. I let him know right away I’m not interested in any of that. Hormone replacement therapy increases your risk of breast cancer. The only symptom I’ve been experiencing are hot flashes and to be honest they’re not all that bad. I did ask him what some of the other symptoms were. He said women who go through menopause may also experience moodiness, acne, and weight gain. I let him know right away those are all easy! I’m already moody, have a few pimples, and yes—I’ve gained a little weight.

What happens if my blood work comes back not menopausal? Then I have to go back to the doc and he gets to help me figure out how to have a period. Then they have to run more tests to find out if I have uterine cancer. I was not in the least bit worried about any of this because back in April my blood work indicated I was pre-menopausal.

Today I got the call from my doc’s nurse. My blood work came back showing that I am officially in menopause. AWESOME!! Thirty years of bleeding is finally OVER!!! No more periods!! No more BIG THICK MAXI PADS!! NO more tampons!! Whoo-Whooo!! I feel like having a menopause party!! Yay!!!

I hope I can put this uterine cancer thing behind me. I just want to go to my yearly checkups and not have any issues. Now I have to make an appointment to have my six month follow-up mammogram next month. They are following my right breast to make sure that two millimeter calcification stopped growing. I guess I have calcifications all over they want to keep an eye on. Isn't that special? I really do not want to play the biopsy game. Let’s just pray the mammogram goes well, shall we?

According to Google menopause symptoms are as follows: hot flashes, fatigue, irritability, depressed mood, weight gain, fuzzy thinking (hahaha), anxiety, and headaches.

Photo Credit: Pinterest Pin

Congratulations to My Friend Paula!!!


Congratulations to my friend Paula who had her book featured on Lovefraud.com!!! Woo-Hoo!!!

“However, the tide is shifting. More and more victims and survivors of sociopaths are coming forward, sharing their stories and bringing awareness to the masses of the existence and prevalence of sociopaths among us. We are learning how to spot these predators, and they aren’t who and what we have been conditioned to believe.” ~Paula Reeves Carrasquillo

Photo Credit: Pinterest Pin

September 18, 2013

Things are about to get busy!

We have been busy and now we are about to get busier. It's all good!

Sundays—we are going through an excellent sermon series at church called: CRUX. I am blown away by this teaching. On this day we really try to relax and just enjoy each other’s company, too.

Mondays—Don and I are going to be taking foster care classes. We will be starting up in October. We meet 9 times once weekly for about 3 hours. So far we’ve had a home visit, medical checks, fingerprints, background checks, reference checks, and now we just have to fill out the questionnaire. I think there are a few more home visits on the horizon, too. Our whole family is thrilled to be embarking on this new journey. We know it will not come easy but this has been on our hearts for a long time so it’s nice to be in a position to be able to get the ball rolling.

Tuesdays—Women’s bible study is in full swing. This semester we are studying the book of Ephesians. I can’t say enough good things about this study. Next semester we will be studying the book of James. I’m really looking forward to that one, too.

Wednesdays—Don and I are volunteers in a new children’s program at church called D6. This year we will be leading a group of kids together. We had our big D6 festival last week and the kids are so excited! I was pretty impressed with the festival. There were obstacle courses, a small petting zoo, food, music, face painting, carnival games, popcorn, cotton candy, a rock wall—it was big—VERY BIG—and the kids had a blast. I think the adults had a blast, too. Don and I got our faces painted with the kids. We had a good time.

Thursdays—I try to make it to the community center as well as fill in doctor’s appointments or any other errands I can think of.

Fridays—TGIF, right? We try to hang out with our friends, play games like dominoes, and just enjoy each other’s company. Don has been taking Fridays off and stretching out his weekends because he has a lot of vacation days he can’t carry over any more. He has a lot of vacation anyway because he’s been with the same company for FOREVER so we are very lucky and blessed. Oh, Fridays is also movies in the park. The kids love movies in the park.

Saturdays—The kids start their swimming back up here shortly. Fiona will be in level 6 and Kinsley in level 5. I want to keep them swimming this year. It is so good for them. Who knows—maybe next year they will be ready for the swim team? We’ll have to wait and see.

With all of that going on we have birthdays and holidays coming up, too. This year I am determined to get all of my shopping done early.

Lately I have my nose deep in my bible. Reading my bible makes me happy and keeps me grounded in my faith.

I’m still trying to focus on chipping away at my BMI, too. Slow and steady wins the race, right?

One of these days I will write about what led to our interest in the foster care system. For now, I ask that you keep us in your prayers. Any encouragement, incite, and positivity is always welcome.

"God places the lonely in families" Psalm 68:6a

Hello, My Name Is

Just Say Jesus

September 11, 2013

Homesick



The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Psalm 34:18

September 8, 2013

I'm Feeling Encouraged

I’m still thinking about today’s message at church. It was about “The Grace of God” and it was on John 6:35-47. It’s listed at the top of the page and it’s part of a new sermon series that started today called “CRUX – the book of John” – I hope you will give it a listen because it has changed how I see God and how I think He sees me. I hope the message moves you as much as it moved me. Pretty cool stuff. I will probably share my notes over on my faith blog.

September 6, 2013

I weighed in this morning

After being stuck at the same weight for a few weeks I finally had some movement on the scale. Hooray!!

According to my scale as noted on My Fitness Pal, I am down 1 lb for a total loss of 11 lbs. Now to keep the momentum going!

I was happy to be able to add a pebble back into my “lbs lost” jar.

Yesterday I had a great workout at the gym. I worked so hard I am very sore today. That tells me I’m going to be twice as sore tomorrow. But, that’s okay. Sore is good. It means I am working myself hard.

Now I need to get my socks and tennis shoes on and get on the treadmill for some treadmill time. I don’t really feel like exercising right now but I know I must.

Last week I wasn’t able to check in but I did notice my friend Becki moved some marbles. Way to go Becki!

September 2, 2013

Nebraska Football Fun



Cotton Candy Sky


Husker Band at Halftime


End of Game




Red Balloons


I Love this Man!




Cowboy Band at Halftime



Sitting in a Sea of Red


Happy Birthday to My Man!









I Am All Signed Up

I am all signed up for Women’s Bible Study at church. I can’t wait to dive back in!

Here’s a description of the class I’ll be taking:

Epic Significance - A Study on the Book of Ephesians: Enter the Book of Ephesians and you will be caught up in the epic significance of all that God has spilled out, splashed out, poured out for us - without reservation. You can't help but sense the overflowing of His spirit in all of your relationships. Landing on your knees is the perfect response to the truth you'll discover in this ebullient letter.

The teacher for this class is amazing! I can’t wait to see what she has to say about the book of Ephesians.

I’m also looking forward to fellowship with my bible study friends.

Exceeds the Standards

I have a hard copy of Fiona's overall performance on Nebraska's State Accountability (NeSA) test. I could not be more pleased with how Fiona did on the test. Her overall scores in Reading and Mathematics "Exceeds the Standards" of expectations on the state level for spring 2013 according to the state of Nebraska via the public school she currently attends.

Reading is composed of different content standards: Vocabulary and Comprehension. Mathematics is composed of different content standards: Number Sense, Geometric/Measurement, Algebraic, and Data Analysis/Probability. Fiona exceeds the standards.

In addition to her communication, presentations and public speaking, Fiona is sharpening and improving her test taking skills. That’s on top of all the extras she is learning at school. I also love that she knows how to use a planner, finish her homework, and study for her quizzes and tests for school without being told.

Good job, Fiona!