God is never late. ~Jo Sibet
January 30, 2013
January 29, 2013
For though we are made especially for the sake of one another, still each of us has his own tasks. Otherwise another's faults would harm me, which God has not willed, in order that my happiness may not depend on another. ~Marcus Aurelius
How can I best help _______? By not interfering when he gets into difficulties. I must detach myself from his shortcomings, neither making up for them nor criticizing them. Let me learn to play my own role, and leave him to his. If he fails in it, the failure is not mine, no matter what others may think or say about it.
Of course I am obligated, by compassion and common humanity, to help others. But this does not mean I should do for them what they ought to do for themselves. I have no right to deprive anyone else of the challenge to meet his own responsibility.
January 28, 2013
January 27, 2013
January 26, 2013
In respectful, well-balanced marital relationships, we can't get away with the self-centeredness we don't even notice when we're alone. We are forced to listen better, share more, compromise fairly.
January 25, 2013
Bad habits and compulsions cannot be conquered by determined resolutions or promising ourselves that we won't go on doing this or that. They cannot be rooted out~for what would fill that vacuum? They must be replaced~with their opposites. The secret is to substitute the positive for the negative~the I will for the I won't.
January 24, 2013
January 23, 2013
January 22, 2013
January 21, 2013
I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. I have a dream today. ~Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
January 19, 2013
January 18, 2013
January 17, 2013
Kinsley enjoyed showing our dentist the big hole in her mouth. She has 4 empty spaces up top and 2 on the bottom. They were all very surprised to see how many teeth she has lost but assured me this wasn't unusual. No cavities for Kinsley.
Fiona and Kinsley enjoyed watching the dental hygienist clean and brush my teeth. The sensitivity I was feeling in the back of my mouth is from stress. No cavities for me. That's pretty typical for me not to have cavities. The stress part doesn't surprise or shock me, especially lately.
We love that they end each episode with their family sitting around the dinner table and a prayer.
We love the life lessons they teach with each episode.
We love that they are very funny and make us laugh.
Where do I get my Happy Happy Happy T-shirt?
Duck Dynasty: Yes Please! :)
H/T: The Duck Dynasty Song
PS Ladies, great job on the Duck Dynasty Song!!
January 16, 2013
January 15, 2013
January 14, 2013
January 12, 2013
Compliments are lovely, especially when they are sincere. In contrast, flattery is extreme and appeals to our egos in unrealistic ways. It is the material of counterfeit charm, and nearly always involves an intent to manipulate. Manipulation through flattery is sometimes innocuous and sometimes sinister. Peek over your massaged ego and remember to suspect flattery.
H/T: The Sociopath Next Door - pg 158
That's what this bible verse got me thinking about:
"they flatter with their lips."
All of this makes me think an awful lot about flattery. Compliments - yes! Flattery - no! Do their words match their hearts? If I am crying then the answer is probably, NO.
3. When considering a new relationship of any kind, practice the Rule of Threes regarding the claims and promises a person makes, and the responsibilities he or she has. Make the Rule of Threes your personal policy.
ONE lie, one broken promise, or a single neglected responsibility may be a misunderstanding instead. TWO may involve a serious mistake. But THREE lies says you're dealing with a liar, and deceit is the linchpin of conscienceless behavior. Cut your losses and get out as soon as you can. Leaving, though it may be hard, will be easier now than later, and less costly.
Do not give your money, your work, your secrets, or your affection to a THREE-TIMER. Your valuable gifts will be wasted.
H/T: The Sociopath Next Door - pg 157.
That's what this bible verse got me thinking about:
"everyone lies to their neighbor."
All of this makes me think of this quote:
"Be careful who you open up to. Only a few people actually care, the rest just want to have something to gossip about."
All of that makes me think about my expectations. I seriously need to lower my expectations because I have allowed myself to be hurt and I'm tired of being hurt. I will no longer be surprised or shocked when people show me who they really are. I pray I have the courage and the strength to distance myself because there are a lot of great people out there in this world who are able to truly love.
Today's bible verse got me thinking about sociopaths and Martha Stout's 13 rules for dealing with sociopaths in everyday life, specifically #3 and #5.
January 11, 2013
I feel like the luckiest person in the world because I've found a second family, and I am a very real part of it. In my new family, I am accepted just as I am. I never have to pretend, or wear a mask over my feelings. I can speak freely and know that my words won't leave the room.
In my new family, people empathize when I share my troubles. But instead of trying to solve my problems for me, they allow me the dignity to do so on my own. They do offer their experience, strength, and hope, and in this sharing I often hear just what I need to help me with a troublesome situation.
In my new family, LOVE is NOT a POINT SYSTEM. I don't have to earn love from others~it's given FREELY as a gift. I don't have to earn my place in the sun, I can just relax and be myself.
I found a new, second family, a family that helped me discover the me that had been hidden for so long, a family that will always be there for me. Today I will enjoy having a place where I really belong.
For me, XXX has proven to be a bittersweet legacy~bitter, because of the pain I suffered, and sweet, because if it weren't for that pain, I wouldn't have searched for and found a better way of living.
H/T: Courage to Change
PS I tweaked the phrasing just a bit so people could apply it accordingly.
Social Networking is coming OFF my smart phone, too. If I have something to share I will do it on my BLOGS. So, if you are connected to me that way, you'll still be able to communicate with me. Same goes for my e-mail address or text messaging on my mobile.
Social Networking will be deleted from my computer's bookmarks manager as well. There will be NO SOCIAL NETWORKING for me FOR lent. Blogging - yes, Social Networking - no. :)
I'm looking forward to this Lenten Season and have thought a lot about it for quite some time. I think this sacrifice fits perfectly with what I'm trying to accomplish. Putting it in writing and declaring it will hopefully keep me accountable.
Okay, on with my day!!! I have more good stuff to post - stay tuned!!! :)
Building self-esteem takes introspection. But some of us get nervous when we start thinking about ourselves. Somehow it seems wrong to spend so much time digging around in the basements and attics of our personalities. We're afraid we're becoming self-centered, and we feel guilty about it. Haven't we always been taught to avoid selfishness?
But the search for self-esteem is more like a rescue mission than it is an ego trip. It isn't selfish to try to know and understand ourselves. And taking credit where credit is due shouldn't make us feel guilty any more than taking a paycheck at the end of a hard week. We deserve what we've earned. And all of us have earned more healthy self-regard than we've dared to claim.
We don't have to worry. Self-centeredness is no more like self-esteem than a flood is like a summer shower. One causes devastation and the other causes growth. If growth is our intention, examining our lives is not only allowable~it's an absolute necessity. And if introspection makes us uneasy, it's because we're not used to it, not because it's wrong.
Squeamishness about self-scrutiny may spring from my false pride instead of my true humility.
H/T: Believing In Myself
"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. ~Matthew 5:43-45
January 10, 2013
January 9, 2013
If instead of trusting in God I trust only my own intelligence, my own strength and my own prudence, I will not find my way to Him and His help. He has offered me the gift of faith. In accepting it, I must put aside my own human will and trust in Him. Dante, in the Divine Comedy, wrote: "In His will is our peace."
Trust in the Lord with all thy heart and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths. (Proverbs)
H/T: One Day at a Time
PS I tweaked the phrasing just a bit so people could apply it accordingly.
We all need an occasional pat on the back. But when the applause of others becomes the reason for my behavior and necessary for me to feel satisfied, then I have given them power over me.
People may forget to notice the terrific things that I've done or may not be comfortable praising me. I don't have to take it personally. Self-pity and resentment are not my only options. If I can learn to evaluate my own actions and behavior and to value my own judgement, then the approval of others will be enjoyable, but no longer essential to my serenity.
Just for today, I will appreciate myself. I will not look to others for approval; I will provide it for myself. I'll allow myself to recognize that I am doing the best I can. Today my best is good enough.
Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. ~Carl Jung
H/T: Courage to Change
What higher honor can we give but to say a person is "true blue," or "faithful to the end"? Loyalty is one of the most endearing and noble of all human qualities. How terribly sad when we place this priceless gift in the wrong hands!
Many people suffering from low self-esteem have developed faulty boundaries around who is trustworthy and who is not. Of course it isn't trusting itself that threatens self-esteem, but trusting untrustworthy people is always devastating. While everyone makes an honest misjudgment now and then, some of us go on making the same mistake with the same person OVER and OVER and OVER again. Such FOOLhardiness goes beyond the limits of loyalty.
Misplaced loyalty, especially if repeated, is evidence of willfulness rather than love. Because self-esteem cannot long endure the battering of betrayal, we need to get honest about what we're doing when offer ourselves up to people who have let us down. To fail to learn from our past mistakes is to take a hand in our own injury.
My integrity is always lost when I set myself up to be hurt.
H/T: Believing In Myself
January 8, 2013
2. God Speaks: A Study of the Book of Hebrews – It was great to be back today. It felt like the first day of school. I’m with the same group of wonderful ladies and may also have a friend joining me soon.
3. Institute Sunday: Why We Need Theology – Last Sunday we had a speaker come and deliver a message on why we need theology. I was so moved by the sermon that I decided it was time to reengage in classes again.
4. Fuel for Faith: An Important Class about Christian Theology – This class will be at 7 am on Sundays. When I told Don I was going to sign up for this class he laughed. He didn’t laugh at the class, he laughed at the time. He doesn’t think I will be able to handle taking an early morning class. It’s only for eight sessions. It’s not going to last forever. Yeah, I’ll show him!
5. Eat this Book: One Year Bible with Daily Psalm – I am right on track with this daily devotional. I love it! I’m determined to make my way through the bible starting in the Old Testament, Finishing up the New Testament again, and enjoying Psalms along the way. The more I dig in the better I am.
6. Psychology/Self Help Books – I’m still planning to pick up new books to read throughout the year. I haven’t made my next selection yet because I’m still trying to find my groove. Between 2, 3, 4, and 5 I’m doing a lot of reading as well as AWANA on Wednesday nights.
7. I need to hop back on the exercise train, too. I’ve reset my scale and started it over for 2013. My goal is to lose 30 lbs this year. I think I can do it.
8. Fiona is excelling with her reading. We are reading every day. She is also reading her bible almost every day. She has almost all of her multiplication facts memorized: 0-12. Not too shabby. They will be moving to division as well as some algebra. She has been obsessed with the weather science kit she got for Christmas, too.
9. Don and I went to see The Hobbit over the Christmas break. Loved it! We can’t wait to see the next installment. I’m not happy about the fact that the next movie doesn’t come out until December of 2013. What can we do? Hollywood is slow.
10. I am growing by leaps and bounds and it feels good. I’m gonna keep on keeping on and look forward to God showing me more of what I need to see.
January 7, 2013
January 5, 2013
A more compassionate way to respond to those I love might be to allow them to face the consequences of their actions, even when it will cause them pain.
Am I trying to interfere with the natural consequences of a loved one's choices? Am I trying to do for someone what they could do for themselves? Am I doing what I think is best for me? Do I resent what I am doing? If so, is it really a loving choice? Sometimes the most compassionate thing I can do is to let others take responsibility for their behavior.
Today I will remember that I have choices, and so do other people. I will make the best choices I can and allow others in my life to do the same without interference.
I must learn to give those I love the right to make their own mistakes and recognize them as theirs alone.
January 4, 2013
Narcissists do not connect with reality: appearances are all that matter in their world. So, you can lay out your grievances to a narcissist in a letter to let him know what you think, but if tomorrow you encounter him and act as though none of it happened, he is perfectly satisfied.
January 3, 2013
In addition to that particular devotional there were four others that I read every single day: Streams In the Desert, Believing In Myself, and two Al-Anon Devotionals. I thoroughly enjoyed them all including the Streams In the Desert one.
This year on YouVersion I'm reading a one year bible plan called: Eat this Book, One Year Bible with Daily Psalm. What I like about this particular bible plan is that it starts from the beginning of the bible in the book of Genesis. Most one year plans skip around and have a little of the Old Testament, a little of the New Testament, a Psalm, and then a Proverb. I'm not a fan of that one so I decided to go with this one instead.
For some reason when I saw the "Eat this Book" part of the title I just kept thinking, "That's what I want to do! If I could, I would eat this book!" LOL :)
I know I won't be able to read every single day but I'm sure going to give it one heck of a try. On the days that it is impossible for me to read I will catch up and not give myself a hard time over missing a day. Sometimes life happens and you can't read.
The other thing that has me tickled pink is that my nine year old is going to do the bible plan with me. For the last two days she has curled up in the recliner next to me with her bible. We read quietly and every once in awhile she will ask me a question. She's asked if she can do this with me in the mornings before school. Who am I to tell her no? Of course she can read the bible with me! This warms my heart.
This year I put the Streams In the Desert devotional on the shelf to let it rest. I am; however, going to start the other three over again to see if I can pick up anything that I may have missed last year.
Remember that book I was reading called, "Disarming the Narcissist?" Well, I finished it. Boy was that book really good. I could identify with a lot of the book. My journey through Psychology has taught me an awful lot about why people do what they do and how to combat it. I think this year I will continue to dive into topics in Psychology. It's been a kind of awakening for me and it has strengthened my outlook and improved my self-esteem greatly!
I've also signed up for women's bible study at church. I have enjoyed getting together with other gals once a week and am always looking forward to learning something new about the bible. The neat thing about these particular bible studies is that our speaker is able to teach us about how people lived back and then, what some of their customs were, and why they did what they did. It is fascinating learning about the apostles and understanding what it is they were talking about. It's one thing to read the bible and try to apply it to your life but to be able to step back in time and learn about those people, their cultures, and how the laws worked back then sheds a light over the story and how things went down and just exactly how incredible our God truly is!
On the exercise front I'm going to keep at it. I've been taking a break but will be getting back into my routine tomorrow. I'm also starting my scale over again. I'm not in a hurry to lose the weight because I know slow and steady wins the race. I know that as I lose the weight it will stay off. It took time to put it on and it will take some time to take it off. I am determined to get it done.
Okay, now it's your turn. What are some of your goals for 2013? Don't be shy, leave me a comment or two.