March 10, 2013

Resentment is a Self-Defeating Entitlement (It's True!)

The remedy for wrongs is to forget them. ~Publilius Syrus

One of the very best ways to hang on to low self-esteem is to hang on to a resentment. Resentment is always about pain. It is about being cheated, being "done unto," being victimized. And victimization always makes its presence felt in negative definitions of ourselves~definitions like "I don't have any rights" or "You can't trust anyone" or "I will never be loved."

To foster a resentment fixates us at the point of our pain. Happiness, then, becomes like a butterfly transfixed with a pin. Because resentments and freedom are mutually exclusive, no one can have both. To insist on carrying around a resentment is to insist on retaining the source of our low self-esteem.

Often the hardest thing about giving up resentments is that we feel such a right to them. We may well have been cheated. We may well have been lied to and treated shabbily, perhaps even criminally. If that doesn't justify resentment what does! The truth is, however, that resentment is a self-defeating entitlement. We have a right to a stomachache too, but who wants it?

To harbor a resentment is to harbor an enemy.

H/T: Believing In Myself

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