What's with me? Am I simply a masochist? How can I allow myself to be so fooled? Why am I so drawn to these difficult people? Am I being punished? How do these trying people always find me? Do I have "doormat" written on my forehead? Why can't I just speak up and tell him to...? It can be difficult to assess toxic interactions during the early phase of any relationship, particularly if you are only in the narcissist's presence form time to time. Even when it seems apparent that he is "a bit obnoxious," you may have grown up with the message "too bad, just deal with it" implanted in your brain, especially if the narcissist in your life happens to be an authority figure, such as a boss, supervisor, professor, or even a romantic partner. You are not foolish, nor are you being punished, and you are definitely not sending self-defeating signals from your brow. The narcissist's charm and wit can be very hypnotizing, encouraging you to be forgiving when he is out of line. You are drawn to this person because he is attractive in some ways. It can be difficult to speak up, because the costs may appear too great, and if you've been in the relationship for a while, you've been well trained in the art of diplomacy~or, rather, biting your tongue.
H/T: Disarming the Narcissist