October 17, 2012

Successful relationships endure because of skills not feelings

Loving and making relationships work are not the same thing.
~Earnie Larsen 

Many people's self-esteem is shaken if a promising relationship begins to deteriorate. This is true especially if that relationship was entered into with heart full of love and "forever" expectations. When we find that somehow, some way it is not working, we simply can't believe it. We always believed that if we loved enough, all other problems would solve themselves. 

The truth is that loving and making a relationship work can easily be two different things. Successful relationships endure because of skills~not feelings. All the loving in the world does not necessarily translate into the ability to communicate, for example. To assume that these essential skills are present, when they are not, is to take a long walk on a short pier. Especially if our self-esteem rides on the back of that relationship.

The saving fact about skills, however, is that they can be learned. Lack of skill is no cause for loss of self-esteem. It can be the motivation we need to start learning how to make a relationship work over the long haul. No doubt when we are more reliable, honest, and realistic, our relationships will have a better chance of survival. 

Making relationships work takes more than love. 

H/T: Believing In Myself by Earnie Larsen & Carol Hegarty


  1. Yup. Unfortunately, popular culture hypes up the "Love conquers all" bit. No it doesn't. Not in romantic relationships, familial ones or even professionally (i.e. how difficult it can be to work with a difficult with whom you otherwise have shared interests).

    I really like the idea of skills rather than emotions as the defining variable in the lifespan/viability of a relationship.

    You hit it on the nail on this one, as usual. R

  2. Yep...people who truly love show it. They don't just say it, harp on it, or talk about it. Actions speak a hell-of-a-lot louder than words. It takes skills.


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