October 30, 2012

19 On Tues: Zero Tolerance

Author Don Otis advises that we must "maintain a zero tolerance policy at home when it comes to drugs. Refuse to bail your children out of hardship, because self-inflicted pain is often what God uses to teach us what we need to learn. The consequences of life~the difficulties, trials, and hardships~are the best teachers."

When dealing with crisis situations that may include drugs, alcohol, and/or illegal activity, the following guidelines might be beneficial to consider ahead of time: 
  1. Pray for courage and strength when you are breaking the enabling cycle.
  2. If your adult child has been arrested, do not bail him out. 
  3. Call on your support group/person for intervention. 
  4. Leave your checkbook and credit cards in your wallet. Stop paying for it, no matter what "it" may be. 
  5. Step back from the situation for 48 hours before responding. 
  6. Don't talk to your addicted child personally if you can help it. (He will try to play Let's Make a Deal with you.) Refuse to answer questions, argue, listen to reasons or excuses, and so forth. 
  7. Place a script by the phone to read when your addicted child calls. Recite it and hang up. 
  8. Get yourself to an Al-Anon or a CoDA support-group meeting right away. 
  9. If there is no support group in your area, start one. It's empowering. 
  10. Deal with your own issues (guilt, anger, shame, codependency, etc.). 
  11. Learn all you can about the diseases of alcohol and drug addiction. 
  12. Be strict with whatever you say to your adult child. Mean what you say; consistency is critical! 
  13. Understand the definition of enabling. Don't do it! 
  14. Look for small steps of success and hang on to them. 
  15. Take care of yourself mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Get strong.
  16. Couples must be in agreement on an action plan. 
  17. Remember the best medicine you can give an addict is tough love. 
  18. The words of an addict have no truth; addicts are masters of the con. 
  19. Just say no

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