August 29, 2012
Forgiveness doesn't come automatically - but the party who wronged you does not have to ask for forgiveness for you to give it. The party who wronged you doesn't even have to admit they made a mistake or did anything that requires forgiving. The party who wronged you doesn't even have to make amends in order for you to forgive them. Remember, forgiveness is not a gift you give to another, but rather something you do inside of yourself - for yourself.
Forgiveness IS a choice - you have to choose to forgive and let go of the pain.
Reconciliation and forgiveness are two separate things - they are not mutually exclusive. Forgiving someone does not mean you have to reconcile with that person. If the other person has wronged you so severely that you simply could not trust to allow this person in your life in any capacity - reconciliation is not possible, but forgiveness is.
Forgiving doesn't mean opening yourself back up to be hurt again.
Forgiving doesn't mean allowing the other person's behavior to continue.
For reconciliation - the other person must admit their wrongdoing and ask for forgiveness, and then they must take action to prevent that wrongdoing from happening again. Reconciliation requires both you to forgive and the other person to take action. Forgiveness on the other hand doesn't even require the other person at all.
H/T: Forgiveness - the Gift You Give Yourself