May 9, 2012
The fox condemns the trap, not himself. ~William Blake
When the subject of rationalizations comes up, many of us say "Right, I know all about that." Superficially, we well may~but it isn't the superficial dimension that gets us into trouble. Take blaming, for example. On the face of it, blaming is just another obvious cop~out. But the real problem with blaming isn't the finger pointing itself, it's the pattern it sets up.
Blaming says, "It's not my fault. I had no choice. It was done to me." What happens when this is our habitual response to harmful situations? Are we not also saying, "Because I was the victim this time, there may well be a next time. And I won't be responsible for that, either."
Thus we set up an easy out for our tendency to stay in abusive situations, say yes, when we mean no; stay home "sick," when we are really just lazy. Most of the time we do contribute to situations that diminish our self-esteem. It might not be easy, but we could assert ourselves, turn things around, if we really want to. The problem with rationalizations is that they aren't honest, and over time they make us dishonest people.
Today I take responsibility for my own choices.